Where is my home?

I’m always missing someone. . . .

I miss so many people it’s almost unbelievable. My heart longs to be with all the people I love. I can't though because I live far from them. Yet then I have close friends here that I would miss if I was not with them. It can be really hard living the life I live. I have family and close friends in America I also have close friends in Australia. I have people all over the world that I love and miss. It’s so hard sometimes. Oh I would love so much to be able to hug my sister again.

Or to sit and talk with my best friends. I love living here in
Thailand but sometimes I really miss other places. How can one person have there heart in so many places. You hear people say

“your home is where your heart is”

So where does that leave me? Where is my home? Thailand, America, Australia? My heart is in each three of those places. How is that possible? My heart is with the Children, yet it is also to be with my friends in Australia and I long so much to be with my family in America.

I know that I am in the place God wants me for now. Don’t get me wrong I love so much living in Chiang Rai. I love my job so
much. I’m so blessed to be doing what I do. The kids bless my life more then words can express. I just guess I’m home sick for the other places where my heart is.

Sometimes God may ask you to walk a harder road but it's the more rewarding road.

I get sad sometimes walking this road and yes I feel pain. There are times that I just want to

give up and not go on. I feel so sacred and alone and all I want is to just stop and give up. It can be so hard to just keep going.

I have been reading the book “Oh, the Places You'll Go” by Dr. Seuss. Yes I know it’s a kids book but I work with kids so what can you do. :-) But anyways the part when he is all alone. When I come to that part of the book God always speaks softly to me that I am NOT alone so when I go on I don’t have to go alone.

He is right there with me.
Even if I cant always feel him. He is always there.

Lately I have been really sad because I miss people I love. I have felt alone. I have been scared and felt like giving up. But on I will go. Even though I so badly miss them I would not change anything about my life. God has blessed me more then I ever thought possible and all I did was say “Lord I give you all of my life” I may miss people deeply and I might even wish sometimes that I could just be with them always.

Where my pain is with missing people there also is my joy.

See I have people all over the world that I love and love me. I have a family that yes misses me but supports the work I do. I have close friends all over that love me and I love. I have so many people to be thankful for. If I had said no to God and stayed in America I would have missed out on my blessings.

I am learning that I can give my life to God and not feel fear but more so I can be excited on the things he will do in my life (the fear does still come in sometimes. I am still human). Because I said to God “I give you all of my life” there are ten beautiful children that I get the blessing of helping to raise. Because I said to God I would go and do anything for you I now have close friends all over the world that I don’t know what I would do with out. I am so blessed because I gave up my life to live the life he has for me. I just came across this quote from C.T Studd

“If Jesus Christ is God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be to great for me to make for him”

This was his life motto and Im trying to make it mine as well. I love God with all of my heart and I trust him with my life. So there really is no sacrifice when walking with him. My heart is to ALWAYS seek after God's heart. He is my heart.

So I guess my home is where my heart is. My heart is God. My home is in him.